Well it was a boring Wednesday! Not a lot happened, I am not sure if that is because Marietta is out of town in Heifer or if it was just a slow day in my life.
Normally I write about the prior day, but today, it has to be about this morning's treatment. Parker got up on the wrong side of the bed. He has been yelling at me for 10 minutes. Screaming for me to leave to "Go Away". He is angry at everyone and everything this morning. He takes it out on me. It hurts me a lot. I am the mean, strict, evil enforcer. I sit here and have him yell at me. He screams and yells. Tell's me "I hate you". He is willful and defiant. I wish he could grasp that once his lungs are damaged there is no getting the loss back. I enforce the treatments so he has as much lung function as possible. I wonder if this is punishment for some sin I committed earlier in my life. I know that is not how it works, but sometimes I feel that is what is happening to me.
I brush these events off like so much water, but in reality they are little pin-pricks into my soul. The leave me exhausted and unfocused. All I want to do is embrace him in my arms and hold him tight, and tell him I will make it all better. I will take it away, absorb the CF into me and cure him. I would give my life to cure his.
He has finally calmed down, 15 minutes into a fit. We are again at steady state. He is still angry, I can tell but at least he is rational again. I wonder what triggers this assault, this verbal ripping of my emotions that seems to make him happy.
Well back to yesterday. We have no idea about what happened with Marietta other than they moved the kids inside during the storms in Heifer. I look forward to hearing from her about the trip.
Parker was not happy in the a.m. but had a great day at school. His friend Tye Collins came home with him and they went to SoulFire together. His friend Lance Goss came home with him afterwards. Once he left, we did the vesting, saline and pulymozyne without a hiccup. Why are the evenings so much easier with him?
Susan and I accomplished absolutely nothing in the evening. We are both on the jagged edge of exhaustion. I know we need to exercise, but my procrastination is overwhelming my desire at this point in time. ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! Perhaps Thursday night we can get something done. Start small, baby steps!
In the world.
Rick Perry said "oops" in the debate! Wonder what that was about.
Herman Cain continued to defend himself against the sexual harassment charges
Joe Paterno was fired from Penn State. A 46 year career destroyed by trusting a sexual predator
Foreclosures on the rise, some reports that the housing backlog will take 10 years to clear
Italy caused the Market to drop like a rock, 389 points.
The $0.15 fee on christmas trees has been halted. Sort of a strange fee to start with.
Well that is about all sports fans. Today I am feeling a bit like this after my sons attacks this morning.
"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins so I'm out to cut the junkie With the plastic eyeballs, spray paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
Baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
Got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
Someone keeps sayin I'm insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Don't believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park
Yo, cut it.
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/b/beck/loser_20015293.html ]
Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
Banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'Cause one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
One's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
The daytime crap of a folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
Slap the turkey neck and it's hangin from a pigeon wing
You can't write if you can't relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax, fallin' on a termite
That's chokin on the splinters
Soy un perdedor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Get crazy with the Cheeze Whiz)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Drive-by body pierce)
Yo bring it on down
Sooooooy...
(Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?)
(I'm a driver, I'm a winner; things are gonna change, I can feel it.)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(I can't believe you)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Sprechen sie Deutches, baby)
Soy un perdidor
I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?
(Know what I'm sayin?) "
Well that is about all. My life so far, a work in progress.
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